I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You by Ally Carter

Reviewed by Aimee

Ratings

Content Ratings based on a 0-5 scale where
0 = no objectionable content and
5 = an excessive or disturbing level of content

Guide to Rating System

LANGUAGE

VIOLENCE

SEXUAL CONTENT

ADULT THEMES

Ratings Explanation

Language: The “B” word is used many times in this book.  Sometimes it looks like this: “B__”.  Sometimes it is actually spelled out.  There is a damn, a bloody, and a bloody hell.

Violence- The girls are training spies and there are mild references to spy torture and combat techniques.  Cammie throws Josh down to the concrete.  The girls have an “operation” where they use kicks and hits to subdue their enemy.

Sexual content- Cammie and friends think the new teacher is “hot”.  Cammie and Josh hold hands and kiss.

Adult Themes-   Girls in this book sneak out and lie to adults.  Cammie’s father, who is a spy, is missing and presumed dead.

Synopsis
Cammie is a 15-year-old girl who’s life is anything but normal.  She attends Gallagher Academy,  a top secret boarding school, training to be a spy.  Her mother is a spy and also the head master of the school.  On a training exercise,  Cammie meets a “normal” boy who shows interest in her.  Cammie must keep her real identity a secret and the lies she tells lead to many complications and adventures.  Cammie had no idea falling for a guy could be so dangerous.

The story itself is cute.  It’s a rather fluffy read, quick and very teenager-ish.  Cammie is full of sarcasm and one liners that made me laugh.  What girl hasn’t, at some time or another, wished she could be a super strong, smart, sexy spy?!  (Go ahead, say that 5 times, really fast…)  The downside to this book is the language.  It is so completely unnecessary.   Here is my favorite part of the book:

“I did what I was trained to do- I grabbed the offending arm, shifted my weight, and used the force of my would-be attacker’s momentum against him.

It was fast.  Really fast.  Scary, these- hands- are- lethal-weapons fast.  I am so good, I thought, right up until the point when I looked down and saw Josh lying at my feet, the wind knocked out of him.  His voice sounded so weak, and I thought, This is it.  I killed the only man I could ever love, and now I’m about to hear his deathbed (deathstreet?) confession.  I leaned close to him.  My hair fell into his open mouth.  He gagged.

So…yeah…on my first pseudo-date, I not only physically assaulted my potential soul mate, I also made him gag- literally.”