Jane by April Lindner

Reviewed by Bridget

Ratings

Content Ratings based on a 0-5 scale where
0 = no objectionable content and
5 = an excessive or disturbing level of content

Guide to Rating System

LANGUAGE

VIOLENCE

SEXUAL CONTENT

ADULT THEMES

A modern retelling of Jane Eyre

371 Pages

Ratings Explanation

Language:  Diety in addition to every profane word imaginable.

Violence:  Mark and his friend used their Bic lighters in the backseat to nearly light the upholstery on fire.  While children, Mark hit Jane until his father took a belt to Mark.  As retribution, Mark locked Jane in a closet overnight, and the family forgot about her.  Mark is abusive and hits his girlfriend, Debbie.  Bibi bites and stabs her brother, Ambrose Mason.  Nico Rathburn’s rocks star existence consists of:  drug busts, minor car crashes, violent public fights and recriminations.  Nico locks Bibi, his wife, out of the house.  Bibi says she would have slit his throat, if she’d had a knife.  Nico says to Jane, “I could tell you I strangled Bibi and chopped her up into little pieces, and you’d sit there perfectly calm, waiting for me to explain myself.”   A match is lit and one wing of the house is consumed by smoke.  A suspicious  fire consumes the Thornfield Park Mansion.  Bibi jumps to her death.  Nico is injured.

Sexual Content:  Rock star orgies mentioned.  ”You should know by now, Nico doesn’t sleep with the help.”  Nico wants to know if he looks like a sex symbol.  Jane has an infatuation with Nico Rathburn.  Description of Nico Rathburn’s hot body.  Nico confesses to “messing around” with groupies.  Nico and Jane share a hug.  Description of Bianca Ingram and her voluptuous body.  Bianca mentions that boarding school provided her with confidence, independence and sexual experimentation.  Bianca says, “Not here, you naughty thing.  Later. Tonight.” ” What a dirty mind you have.”  Tarot Cards with the form of a nude woman are used.  Nico tells Jane that she is the only one he wants.  Steamy sex scene with Nico and Jane.  Nico tries to buy her clothing and “make” her into his girlfriend.  She asks, “What’s next?  Breast implants?”   He caresses her inner thigh.  River kisses Jane.

Adult Themes:  Jane’s parents died in a car accident when their Saab hit black ice and flipped over a guardrail.  Jane has terrible relationships with her sister and brother.  Mark, her brother, sells the family home and takes the money.  Mark is an alcoholic. “Jane’s parents never made any secret of the fact that her conception had been a less-than-welcome surprise.”  Jane’ s mother calls her a cold fish.  Jane confronts her mother and says, “Why can’t you love me the way I am?  I’ll never be your Barbie doll.”  Rock star drug use and abuse, tattoos and piercings on Nico Rathburn’s body.  Nico suggests cocktails being brought to Jane who is underage.  Nico shares the story of Maddy’s mother, Celine, his former paramour, who cheated on him.   The National Enquirer broke the story.  Celine was a negligent mother who left her toddler to fend for herself in hotel rooms, while she partied.  Dennis, one of Mr. Rathburn’s bandmates, drunkenly beckons Jane to come sit by him on the couch, and he’ll take good care of her.  Nico chides, “I’ve seen how you take care of girls her age.”   He doesn’t want to know if she is under eighteen, he wants to maintain, “Plausible Deniability”.  Kitty is asked, “When’s Lonnie gonna make an honest woman out of you?”  The wives and girlfriends nurse their beers.  Jane is jealous of Bianca Ingram.

Synopsis

Jane is forced to drop out of Sarah Lawrence College, an esteemed East Coast college, after the sudden death of her parents.  Jane Moore takes a job as a nanny at Thornfield Park, the estate of Nico Rathburn, a world-famous rock star on the brink of a huge comeback.  Practical and independent, Jane reluctantly becomes entranced by her magnetic and brooding employer and finds herself in the midst of a forbidden romance.  But there’s a mystery at Thornfield, and Jane’s much-envied relationship with Nico is tested by a torturous secret from his past.  (Nico has locked his first wife,  Bibi Oliveira, now a schizophrenic, on the third floor of the mansion.)

I prefer the cleaner version of Jane Eyre.  I would classify this as a beach read — entertaining, but definitely not literature.

©2011 The Literate Mother